Carl & Other Thoughts On BIPOC LGBTQIA Liberation

It took Carl guts to publicly announce his sexuality. But at the end of the day Carl Nissab can physically, financially, take care of himself. He has the support of the NFL. There’s Democrats in office and most of all he can be a Pride month show horse for convenient capitalism. The NFL is also banking on White Privilege to support Carl’s homosexuality. Someone had to do it eventually. But what if a Black or Latinx player wanted to come out? There’s a lot of cultural and political reasons why that probably wouldn’t happen. How would that have played out on the home field?

So we’re into football now. 🤣 Congrats to Carl Nissab for openly owning his sexuality!! Representation is super important, but one white player declaring their sexual orientation doesn’t change the rules of patriarchal games.

Raiders Defensive End, Carl Nissab

It doesn’t negate the fact that it’s ILLEGAL to be LGBTQIA in 69 countries. #ironic. Or that many of the people who watch Carl play, voted against trans youth from playing in them/they/their sports.

Teen suicide rates have dropped since marriage equality was legalized. But LGBTQIA youth are 8 times more likely to kill themselves than their heteronormative counterparts.

You may not see it, however social workers & counselors see kids who are still being told they are wrong for having same sex attractions or non-binary gender identifications.

White men have also colonized the narrow pelvic arc & declared private acts immoral except for ones they like themselves. 🎤

It took Carl guts to publicly announce his sexuality. But unlike many in the LGBTQIA community Carl Nissab can physically & financially take care of himself at this point. There’s a slim majority of Democrats in office. Finally, he’s kind of a convenient Pride month showhorse for the NFL Corporation.

The NFL is banking on White Privilege to support Carl’s sexual orientation. Someone had to do it eventually. But what if a Black, Asian, or Latinx player wanted to come out?

There’s a lot of cultural context and personal considerations to unpack with any decision like this. There are unfortunately very religious, financial & political reasons that wouldn’t play out on the home field just yet.

The same could be true for myself, friends, for many of us out there in the adult gay community. As difficult as it was for us to grapple with our sexuality, we’re still benefitting and from being Caucasian. It’s not a condemnation. It’s just something White gays need to be aware of.

You don’t get to just show up tipsy to 1 Pride Parade and that’s your Queer “Couture of Duty” for the year. 🤣

Just like Our Black Drag Mothers use silhouettes & songs to elevate the community- we must use our privilege & platforms. We must look out for our LGBTQIA+ fam lacking systemic access, relatives, or support networks.

Follow @HeyMissZarah on Instagram!

There are kids of all races and backgrounds living in foster homes, social work offices, in various places all across the world and country who may never have the opportunities to be openly queer, or to transition without fear of retaliation, or being abandoned, or feel safe enough to use a bathroom.

We’ve been conditioned to think “maybe it’s okay for a pop-star or an artist to be gay.” Yet homosexuality in sports is portrayed as gross and morally wrong.

LGBTQIA & BIPOC individuals are silently shamed into compliance at every societal level. So we’re flipping the script and creating cultures of equity, solidarity, & empowerment for all of us.

It’s as if fragile male identities would be destroyed if they found out a guy who works out & wears spandex might be punting for the same team. That has everything to do w/ the spectators than it does about being a “real” cis-gendered male. They still won’t let women play ball unless it’s off the field.Just like electing one Black POTUS & 1 female Black, Indian, & Asian VP are historic steps- they come 400 years too late. His important declaration doesn’t derail the religious & systemic oppressions which caused him or us to “come out” in the first place.

Unless we uproot the sources of racism and homophobia we’re only severing branches. We gotta stop paying lip service to the idea of queer & BIPOC liberation & own it.

You are free within your mind. The false dichotomies exist to divide us. Those in power conquer us while we squabble against one another. You have the ability and freewill to determine your emotions. You have the ability to deprogram yourselves. Personal transformation occurs in purposeful action by individuals, the establishment, & society.

Maybe more queer kids would play more sports if we had felt safe on the team. As Carl said, “representation and visibility are so important. I actually hope one day, the whole coming-out process won’t be necessary.” It’s the hope many people share. At least we know Carl’s out there on the field and he’s not alone. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎

Setting the Record Strait Part 2

I was at Mt. Shasta writing about one of the most surreally difficult nights of my life, right before another strange event occurred on this mountain. Truth can be a stranger dance than any of our fictions.

You see, I slipped through the trapdoor of my mind after a BLM celebration, on the night of Juneteenth 2020. Transported through ethers after being intentionally drugged, without my consent or awareness.

Two days prior I had spoken out against local Proud Boys who had intimated protestors, and which I had also experienced firsthand. Now here I was getting dosed and later threatened, in my home, by several gay men who refused to denounce white supremacy- one of whom I had briefly dated.

A Fuckboi’s still a fuckboi- even if you’re locked together during quarantine.

I quickly learned a few things things that blurry night.

1. Racism can surprising extend past the reaches of sexual orientation into White superiority & Proud Boy territory.

2. Being dosed was not as fun as I used to hypothetically inappropriately joke about.

3. Feeling unsafe in your own home is a different level of fear. One which I had seen clients deal with as a social worker, but now it was happening to me while in duress. I didn’t know who to trust.

After three weeks of protesting & defunding the Portland Police by $15 million, the Black community threw a celebration and commemoration of Black freedom on Juneteenth 2020.

It was also the first day the Covid restrictions had been lifted. I decided to throw a small gathering because there had been much to celebrate that day. Whatever merriment was to be had quickly turned into a nightmare I could not get out of.

During that dosing I felt rippled through multiple timelines. Awake, slightly out of body, and far away from those moments. Wavering in and out of my present consciousness and through to possible past lives.

I could see myself and the other people I was talking to from above my own body. It sounds so strange but the words being said and emotions being felt were not mine alone for a few hours.

I still replay that evening’s events trying to understand what happened during that state of altered consciousness. For several months afterward, I came back a different soul briefly transported to another dimensional plane.

Was this all just a side effect of being in an altered state of consciousness? Did I have a shamanic experience that night or was it a brief psychosis triggered by a series of recently traumatic experiences?

Are these all just intriguing scenarios to explain the earthly and devastating reality of what happened during and after this night took place?

Returning to the present moment, I was witness to a surreal experience at Mount Shasta. Was this strange calling to follow the mysterious woman on the trail actually real or just the product of an overactive slightly stoned interpretation?

Were these true mystical experiences or do I just want them to be? Aren’t we all just seeking answers somewhere between reality and just beyond the veil?

I was over this Lemony Snicketts existence. The joke of reliving certain patterns and unexplainable circumstances, and bearing the weight of consequences that just took different forms in intricate and complicated ways.

To what purposes do signs show themselves to give only half of an answer? We are the faulty transmitters of subjective experiences. We bring all of our past programming along with us. And also our new understandings if we open ourselves to other possibilities.

During this mountain hike, I asked the Universe for a sign. Then a sudden awareness came into being.

Perhaps we are all living through multiple realities and passing though unseen dimensions in every moment.

The skeptic in me found this premise difficult to deny as the next mystical journey began to subtly unravel on Mt. Shasta & before my very eyes. I’m still on the quest to untangle these and many other mysteries in my life, Earth, & the Universe.

Collaborate and Listen: part 1

An Aztec Shaman in Zocalo honored me with a blessing two years ago this November. During an ancient Aztec ceremony he spoke words passed down from his ancestors. He chanted Earth-born hymnals as an interlocutor for his soul.

His gruff tones hummed from deep intergenerational tomes I couldn’t comprehend. Perhaps he prayed that we would see the blessing of our wayward-journeys home.

That we would choose to see the “I” inside the “other.” In words we never spoke, but we were one in our intention. In every cooperative conversation we are creating expansion for the human whole.

Connection is the nexus of creation. Where two atoms meet to create a bond- a compound, a wholly new and peculiar form. We have a chance as a society to come together from our disparate destinations and recognize there exists a soul connection. Where water and wine coalesce together.

In Zocalo the ancient Aztec ruins peak beneath the imperial public square. Sacred sites were razed asunder on streets & neighborhoods we may find ourselves brief travelers.

We stand on land which is not our own. We share this Earth with all beings whether- dead or living.

For the rot of injustice, oppression, and stubborn non-distributions of systems we rely and vote on have been exposed, protested, and on each side. We are building back better than came before.

Let us give thanks then- instead of to a nation, but appreciating unto each other and loved ones who came before. Let us be thankful for the abundant beauty, biodiversity, sustainable resources, justice spread out in every movement of our planet spinning on an axis- as fractured as it all may seem.

We are not made liable for the decisions made generations before. Each of us are responsible for making amends to everyone who is here in the present moment.

If everyone decided to radically forgive each other at this moment- everything everyone has been fighting over would come to fruition.

True justice, material and financial abundance, spontaneous sustainability would come forward BECAUSE of our mutual collaborations.

In achieving equity for all, the co-creative diverse cooperation of humankind will push us father into echelons of brilliance & sustainability. For the porches of our hearts are where we always meet one another; beyond superficial labelings like racial ethnicity, citizenship, or time.

We are united in the pursuit of human rights. And when we achieve justice for and with another person we have seen and honored the image of god who is represented by their being.

Let Freedom Ring 07/04/20

Some men are

of the opinion

that God gave them Earth

to rule as their dominion.

Beasts to subdue Manifest lands to ravage Peace was slaughtered Its Peoples were called Savage.

Modern generations birthed

beneath fluorescent glows

God became irrelevant when man learned fire all his own.

But I’ve always felt more akin to Icarus

With dreams to melt the sun

Wax is just another Eucharist

to clip a caged child song.

Rhymes in fences reflect the hour

of frightened flocks

who wield white power.

Auschwitz, America

comes not for native, Black, or Jew.

Barbed wire have

spiritually enslaved those

who’ve paid the Devi’s due.

“Foxes are spoiling the vineyards

Oh help us, great Catcher in the sky!” Did you forget the thousands of charred and scarecrowed Titubas, Peoples’ ancestors unnamed & buried beneath White Rye? Does the cry for freedom not from within you call? His Blood is on the cross But You paid blood money to build a wall

Statues are crumbling

Systemic oppression will fall,

a billion voices are uttering, “justice for us all.”

My country,

This of thee Sweet land of inequality Of thee I sing

Land where their fathers died, land where their children cried,

from every township and capitol Every courtroom and classroom From every street corner

Detainment Center From the White House To the Halfway house From every person On every mountainside

Let Freedom Ring.