Sunshine Laundromat

Columbia Gorge has finally reopened. The river itself a glacier’s million-year pet project eroding earth out to the Pacific. Call it Nature’s version of “will they or won’t they?” (Sorry Sam and Diane.)

The Columbia feels ancient and powerful perhaps because this river wasn’t “supposed” to be here. It was carved into the marrow of Earth as it will continue to do for centuries.

The views alone are stunning. I find myself wanting to capture every moment but also being present. It’s damn near impossible to find ourselves living in the moment without also needing to reflect on what we just experienced.

The 30 mph wind gusts made it hard enough to take a decent photo. I didn’t notice there were bees on the flowers until after the snapped image. And how were these tiny insects still holding onto something as delicate as flowers without Mary Poppins-ing their way on out of here? Life is funny that way.

That’s the hardest part about mindfulness or meditation. Being present is a balancing act, an arbiter between the past and future.

We need “the pause” to process and reflect back to relive that time loop or that mind-blowing fuck, or being haunted by things you cannot change.

And with that reflection you begin deciding what you do and don’t want. You become the idea of who you still yourself you are everyday. It’s like dressing for the job you want not the job you have. The negative statements and beliefs we keep reliving or saying to ourselves will only perpetuate that spiral-down pattern.

The best investment in your future is the time you take out now to plan for it to happen. You are worthy of the life, relationships, career, artistic expressions you want to create, have and will become.

Take 1 second to allow yourself to believe it can happen and then take another one, and another until you feel uncomfortable or doubt it. Then ask yourself where is this fear or frustration coming from?

It’s in those tough patches, the windy stretches of your heart where you must journey. So many of the answers for your life are buried where the questions lie dormant.

Give yourself the power of grace, forgiveness, & love while you are in the “pause.” You don’t have to process or heal alone. But you gotta to do the inner work. It will start taking you to where & who you are becoming.

There’s so many things we miss every moment between IG posts, work, sex, and meditation. Or a gaggle of bees pollinating your fave place along the Gorge.

The only time I can fully flesh out my life is when I am alone. It has been engrained in us to believe that if we are alone then there is something wrong with us.

We’ve been scared into being alone with our own thoughts and selves. What kind of life is that?

Along this recent journey of solitude going against the grain doesn’t scrape so bad as it used to. In fact the solitude has led to me boldly live my truest self more than ever.

I used to party almost every single weekend for years. Now I’m just as comfortable planting flowers or getting baked and staying in, or going on a solo weeknight hike. Welcome to mid 30’s, y’all.

In solitude there is freedom to be totally and authentically who you are. You know pants- off dance-off like nobody’s camming and all that Jazz. We all need an inner-sanctuary. A sacred place to release, to chill the f*** out, and be at peace.

In the absence of external validation of others’ input or need to please we become our authentic self. And that self opens up to higher depths. We can use this time to let our truest self guide us forward. Time is actually the one thing most of us actually have an abundance of these days.

The concept of trusting the process is unnerving but exciting. Like how the fuck you gonna “trust Life” when you know they a crazy mofo who gonna drag your ass through the gutter only to shoot you into the stars. If Selena taught us anything it’s to Trust. No. bitch. And ain’t Life the biggest one of them all? 😂

Partial truths and jokes aside, it’s weird how your life opens up & you become more comfortable putting yourself out there.

Think of how far we have come in two months of rationing our daily pub scenes & hobbies. Ain’t been to the barber shop in a minute but we still out here getting it sis!

And when you think you have done enough work you still find depths within yourself and you keep digging. Life will build the canals around you.

I misjudged someone recently, because of a Republican stereotype I’ve seen played out pretty much my entire life. Without details I felt like an asshole because I hypocritically didn’t give someone a chance. #AndIOop

I’ve realized that all sides have positive and negative things about them. And that is how we should look at all things. The shadow self is the other political party, is the other religion, is the other sexes, the other race, whisky preference, and favorite Curb episode.

For we lie with primordial oppressors pressing up and against each other for validation and degradation. The Earth’s plates rubbed against each other and created mountains.

Every action is in effort to achieve a goal. The hardships and evils in this life must push us to new ways of living. Nature can be volatile, unpredictable, dangerous. Those fears lessen as you discover each one of us is part of this grand creation. You become more mindful in the great outdoors because you have to be attentive. You become more appreciative of living things. you see that plants aren’t static. Trees dance in the wind. Flowers turn towards the sun. Vines stretch their creeping limbs among trees and even buildings. Life is blooming and living all around you, but it is also full of perils and unknowns.

In this sunshine laundromat, you’ll find what and who home is. And it’s never ending. It doesn’t stop even when we arrived to our intended destination.

There will always be something more to want. A new project to undertake, a new orgasm, another birthing of inspiration will come to us. In truth the things and states of being you seek are always there waiting for you to become quiet enough to do the inner-work and allow yourself to begin living the life you dreamed of.

One day the weight you carry won’t be so heavy and you’ll be able to hold enough until the next weight is added. One day you may find yourself surrounded by mountains and snow.

A blue sky stretching out and completely enveloping you. It is what eternity must feel like. This world is magic coming from another room.

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